Anxiety: Feel like I am going crazy.

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My anxiety is through the roof. I want to cry, my anxiety is getting worse, and my self medication alcohol makes it way worse.  I get anxious if I rip up a piece of paper  of a drawing I did but I’m a hoarder and realizing it makes me anxious to throw stuff out.  And went out for a smoke and thought of having a drink came by to calm my anxiety I didn’t turned around and went back in only to end up in a group what was extremely stressful because of the people there who  are high energy and the group suppose to be on stress and relaxation. I got some types but I wanted to drink talked to the staff afterwards and calmed down just want to relax and my mom is all over me asking me a million stuff have you done this can I scan this in take a photocopy and its like great I don’t need more paper. I trying to get rid of stuff. I am getting so frustrated and annoyed.  I don’t know how to cope my obsession to drink or use or anything to feel better is high but I know it will make stuff worse.  I have a recovery based meeting tonight so I hope that helps because if not I don’t know what to do I am going crazy.

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About RecoveringPinkButterfly

I am struggling in this world. I have PTSD, BPD, Depression, Social Anxiety. I also struggle with an Eating disorder, Addiction, Self harm and have panic attacks. I'm starting to think I might have Asperger's because I've read a lot about that and it would explain a lot of stuff, being a clutz, lack of social skills, taking stuff literally, hating small talk, but able to talk a lot about special interests, lack of eye- contact with the exception of Special Interests. I also struggle with Flashbacks, Nightmares, Body Memories, and been known to dissociate. I like to write and draw, and that is my outlet. I love getting into intellectual conversations. I get obsessed with stuff. I start something and have a hard time stopping until its done, or get obsessed with something for hours and lose track of time. I'm a Hoarder to some degree but not nearly as bad as the one's on tv. I'm hoping to have this site as a place to express myself and my feelings and maybe try to figure myself out. I want to explore myself and find ways to help myself and help others through my story.

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