I am struggling in this world. I have PTSD, BPD, Depression, Social Anxiety. I also struggle with an Eating disorder, Addiction, Self harm and have panic attacks. I’m starting to think I might have Asperger’s because I’ve read a lot about that and it would explain a lot of stuff, being a clutz, lack of social skills, taking stuff literally, hating small talk, but able to talk a lot about special interests, lack of eye- contact with the exception of Special Interests.
I also struggle with Flashbacks, Nightmares, Body Memories, and been known to dissociate.
I like to write and draw, and that is my outlet. I love getting into intellectual conversations.
I get obsessed with stuff. I start something and have a hard time stopping until its done, or get obsessed with something for hours and lose track of time. I’m a Hoarder to some degree but not nearly as bad as the one’s on tv.
I’m hoping to have this site as a place to express myself and my feelings and maybe try to figure myself out. I want to explore myself and find ways to help myself and help others through my story.
I have posted pages to the different issues that I struggle with and Asperger’s which I am wondering if I have or not. Either way I will be putting up information about these Disorders and describe what it feels like for me. The whole idea id that this will not only be a blog but also a place for people to find information about stuff they struggle with and hoping that I can instill hope in someone by sharing my story.
I’m just starting so there is a lot of work today and like my obsessive nature (Maybe the Asperger’s in me, or the perfectionist, or the anxiety, or the BPD, well who knows.) it is past 4:00 am and I am still typing. Yes I lose track of time and been known to dissociate. Yes the day in the life of someone with Mental Health issues, but I am unique and different. I may not fit in with normal society but I am who I am and I am trying to discover how I am through this blog and treatment and counselling methods. I really hope someone can find something from this blog that will help them. If no one reads this blog that’s ok to because at least it’s a place to express myself.